#1. “If you were any less intelligent we’d have to water you three times a week.”
#2. “One day during lunch this jerk was making jokes about a quiet, usually very reserved kid. Kid takes it for about 10 minutes before casually remarking: ‘Hey, do you know what the difference is between your jokes and your penis ?’
At this point around 30 people are observing.
Kid: ‘No one laughs at your jokes.’
Hysterical laughter ensued and the jerk was utterly humiliated. Needless to say, he didn’t say much for the rest of that lunch.”
#3. “Today my coworker said of another one, ‘He’s so damn stupid he could fall in a barrel of boobs and come out sucking his thumb.'”
#4. “You couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.”